Drill Sergeant Parents
Ineffective Parenting Techniques:
Drill Sergeant Parents.
Some parents are like drill sergeants. They too love their children.
They feel, the more they shout and control, the better their kids will be in the long run. “These kid’s will be disciplined, they’ll know how to behave,” the drill sergeant says.
Indeed, they are constantly being told what to do.
When these parent’s talk to their children, their words are often shaming or, I-told-you-so’s. These parents are into power! If children do not do what they are told, these parents are darn well going to make them do it.
Kids of drill sergeant parents, who were never given the opportunity to think for themselves – often make horrendous decisions. But it makes sense; they never experienced having to make decisions for themselves. They never had to think – their parents took care of that. These children were ordered around their whole lives.
They’re as dependent on their parents as the kids of helicopter parents.
The most disgruntling aspect is that these children, in their teen years, are even more susceptible to peer pressure than most other teens. Why? because they were trained to listen to the voice outside their heads, that of their parents. Only now, when they no longer want to listen to their parents, they follow the same pattern and instead listen to other voices, those that now belong to their friends.
Drill sergeants tend to create kids who are followers, because they never learned to make decisions for themselves.
In both of the ineffective parenting styles, parents send subliminal messages to their children about what they think they are capable of.
The implied message from the helicopter parent is: - “You are so fragile, and will not survive without me.”
The drill sergeant’s message is: - “You are unable to think for yourself, so I’ll do it for you.”
Helicopters can’t hover forever, they run out of fuel, and drill sergeants eventually go hoarse.
While both these parental types may successfully control their children in the early years, they will have done their kids a disservice once puberty is reached.
Rose De Freitas
Go Parenting
Parenting Facilitator
Feel free to e-mail Rose with your questions or to find out more about her courses and workshops.
Footnote:
While parenting books and articles can be extremely resourceful, it is highly recommended that parents attend an effective parenting program with an experienced facilitator.
Too much information can be extremely overwhelming for parents, and it is very difficult to gauge the success of the new techniques being implemented. By attending workshops, the facilitator is able to monitor any misunderstanding or misuse of the concepts, tools and techniques provided in the parenting program.
