We are very excited to bring you a range of articles from Go Parenting. Go Parenting incorporates a parenting program which has been carefully developed over the last 30 years and is backed-up by many years experience.
List of articles:
- Introduction (see below)
- Helicopter parents
- Drill sergeant parents
- Laissez Faire parents
- Consultant Parent
- Offering Choices
- Teaching through modelling
What is our function as a Parent?
Through the miracle of birth, parents are given a tiny, defenceless baby who is totally reliant on us for every physical need. Parents are required to find a solution for every problem that the infant encounters.
As our kids mature, we need them to make the transition from being dependent on us to being independent, from being controlled by us – to controlling themselves.
Perhaps the greatest challenge of adulthood is raising our children to become responsible adults.
A common thought that crosses every loving, caring, parents mind is “am I equipping my children with the right tools to enable them to cope in a world that requires maturity and responsibility for survival?”
“Why don’t children come with an owners manual?”
For generations, novice parents have learned the art of raising children by example.
They took all the parenting tips from their parents and applied the techniques in their own homes.
Today this approach is more likely to fail than succeed.
Often, when we feel unsuccessful as parents, the first thing we say is, “I just can’t fathom it out, it worked for our parents? Yes, it did. But the environment has changed rapidly.
Our kids face far greater challenges than we ever encountered. The human rights revolution, the communication explosion, cell phones, the internet, drugs, pornography, sexual predators, sexually transmitted diseases, changes in the nuclear family – these and many other factors have radically changed our kids perspective on how they view life.
Parents are therefore required to implement different parenting techniques, which will prepare children for a world that is callous and merciless.
A disturbing thought is, that at most, we have a mere eighteen years to accomplish this!
Don’t despair; there is light at the end of the tunnel. Unlike years gone by, as a result of years of research, trial and error and expertise, parents have a wealth of information available at their disposal.
Despite the fact that there are no full proof systems that are guaranteed to work every time, following an effective parenting program has a strong chance of working in most situations, and at the same time helps increase the odds of fulfilling your parental role.
Effective parenting centres on love, love that doesn’t tolerate inappropriate behaviour or disrespect, but also love that is powerful enough to allow kids to make mistakes and to live with the consequences of those mistakes. Most mistakes do have reasonable consequences and, when those consequences are accompanied by our genuine empathy and compassionate understanding of the child’s disappointment, frustration and pain – hit home with mind-changing power.
This will ultimately teach our children to think, decide and to live with their decisions.
In short, it will teach them responsibility, and that’s what parenting is all about. The greatest gift that parents can give their children is the opportunity for a joyful, productive and responsible adult life. Applying the right parenting techniques will help achieve that result. If we can teach our kids responsibility, we’ve accomplished a great portion of our parental task.
It is imperative that parents understand that while children should be able to decide between safe and responsible options, we do not advocate letting them decide everything for themselves, or even learning from natural consequences that may have damaging effects.
Rose De Freitas
Feel free to e-mail Rose with your questions or to find out more about her courses and workshops.
While parenting books and articles can be extremely resourceful, it is highly recommended that parents attend an effective parenting program with an experienced facilitator.
Too much information can be extremely overwhelming for parents, and it is very difficult to gauge the success of the new techniques being implemented. By attending workshops, the facilitator is able to monitor any misunderstanding or misuse of the concepts, tools and techniques provided in the parenting program.